Tuesday, September 11, 2007

One week ago today ...

We found out we had a daughter. Every morning I walk into my office, see her little face and wish her a good morning. I think to myself, I hope she had a good day today, with her foster mommy and daddy. I hope she sleeps well tonight, is warm and fed and feels safe. All of which I really believe that she is. We are waiting for her, counting the days to when we can go and meet her, and start the process of becoming a family.

To Jeff and I, that process has already started as we have thought about her for more than two and a half years, while we were on this journey. She, has not thought about it one moment. Granted, she 7 months old so yeah, she won't be. But she has no idea that her life is about to turn upside down in a little less than two months. I worry about that day as, while it will be one of my (our) happiest, it will most likely BE her hardest. She will be scared, unsure and downright furious that all she knows is over. Completely. She will be held and comforted by people that she does not know, and do not look like anything she has most likely seen before. Very scary. My heart breaks for her, but it cannot be changed. If it hadn't been for Jeff & I adopting her, it would be another family. Because, for some reason, she (out of many that were not) had her dossier selected and sent in for International Adoption.

These are just some of the things that go through my mind, as I sit here on the other side of the world, wishing and waiting for her. While she is not wishing and waiting for me.

3 comments:

Debbie said...

Congratulations! Just finding your blog now. You must be on cloud 9. If you check out Olivia's blog (June), you can see a 10 minute video of our adoption journey.

Deb

Tracy said...

I do the same thing - gaze at Charlotte's picture at my cube every morning, hope her day is going well, and think about the fact that she has no idea thw wonderful changes in store for both her and us!!

Tracy
DOR 9/4/07

Anna said...

There are many mysteries in this world...many miracles. Emi is one of them. Even though you didnt carry her in your womb honey you have carried her in your heart and the Mother knows this and gave her to YOU. She is wonderful and perfect and beautiful and she is a part of you and Jeff and has been since the day she was born. I even think she looks like you Kiy :D

Love you guys