Sunday, May 25, 2008

Keeping her close

By now, I have to think that there isn't a person out there that has been touched in some way by adoption that hasn't heard about little Maria Chapman. I wasn't going to blog about this, many have and I didn't have anything to contribute that hadn't already been said.

However, the family keeps coming to mind over and over, all day long. I hurt for Maria, her parents, siblings, family. But it's her brother I cannot get out of my head, and my heart. To have that on him for the rest of his life, I just cannot imagine. I hope that someone close to the family suggests counseling for everyone but especially for the son. I know they are close-knit, and I have to think that as a family they will work through this. But still. I hope they get the help they need.

How this has affected me is to keep pulling Emi close. I want to cuddle her more, sit quietly and read books, listen to her breathe, watch her sleep. I was always doing these things, but now I just cannot seem to be close enough to her. In an interesting way, I think she feels something that is going on with Mama. She has sought me out more for snuggles and cuddles. While watching her tv shows, she now tends to want to sit with me, instead of dancing and singing with the show. She is bringing me her toys to play with her, holding my hand more, that kind of thing.

Last night we had a rough night. She kept waking up crying, needing to be held but still thrashing around. We finally decided she was teething (duh us) and gave her some baby Motrin. Thank goodness for whoever realized that liquid form med's for little ones get into their bloodstreams faster. In the middle of a cry (big sad tears!), she passed out! Poor baby. But, I kept sitting there, rocking her. I just couldn't seem to let her go, didn't want to put her back in her bed. I finally did, and then just lie next to her, watching her sleep for the longest time. I did finally drift off to sleep and she slept the rest of the night through.

Happy Emi woke up this morning and crawled in bed with us. Chattering in Emi-speak, all smiles and personality. She never seems to have ill effects after nights like last night (unlike Mama and Daddy), which I am grateful for.

Nothing special is planned for the long weekend. Just working around the house and yard. The big project of the weekend is finishing Emi's room (finally!). But, I have to think that the bigger project of the weekend is going to be lots of snuggle time with a certain special little girl.

I cannot begin to imagine what the Chapman family is going through. But my thoughts and heart go out to them.


amy said...

Im with ya! I couldnt sleep at all last night because the family was in my mind and heart. Ill be honest, I wish I could control how my mind is working but I cant so I will pray each time I think of them

Louanne said...

Amen to all that you said.