. . . a day late, or if you are like me and read blogs in the mornings (when time allows!), two days late. I have been planning this post in my mind for days. I have so much in my heart and on my mind and not sure how to put it into words.
I have so very much to be thankful for this year. Finally, I am a Mama.
I will never ever ever forget the day we saw Emi's face for the first time and the feelings welled up inside just looking at her tiny little face. We laughed, and cried a few tears, Jeff and I were so happy. I still have those first pictures on my desk and look at them every day. I can't seem to put them away and replace them with newer, more current ones. I do have more current ones scattered all over (ALL OVER) the house, but these, these are special ones.
Something that I think Jeff and I are giving Emi is a solid, happy, loving marriage. We don't have all the material things that others have but we have something that I think many don't. Honest to goodness true love. Sappy as it sounds, there it is. He is an amazing husband and best friend, and daddy ... you guys should see this guy daddy! I love to watch him with Emi, or even just listen to them playing together. My heart just ... smiles. I honestly feel that a happy marriage makes a happy and strong child. She must feel the love in this house, how can she miss it? The love is even stronger, now that she is here with us.
I hope I am a good mom, I try very hard to be. The love that I feel for this little person is immeasurable. I honestly do think I am a better mom today than I would have been 20 years ago. I have more patience for one thing. I also have a stronger sense of self-worth. Something I hope to pass on to Emi. There is so much world out there I want to share with her, and so much I want to teach her. Right now, I am content, being her mama. Enjoying every single little moment. Her milestones I watch in awe, her accomplishments I cheer. I love her quirky little sense of humor, the way she waves, her sweet smile ... and her mischievous one. She tests me, daily, but that's her job. She's learning everything at the speed of light, faster than I thought she would. And, she's a lover. She loves a good cuddle, loves to give and receive kisses, loves to share. She is an explorer and has a need to figure out how things work. She loves 'caves', she loves to chatter (in Emi-speak), loves to dance and sing. She is just so happy, smiling all the time.
I love this little girl, the little girl that made me a mommy.
P.S. Please don't think that Emi's birth mother (and birth father) are far from my mind. They are always in my heart, hoping that they somehow know how much we love Emi. We have decided to keep Mother's Day and Father's Day for us, but to do something special on Emi's finding day (February 4th). Each year we are going to light a candle on that date, and send our wishes to them that way. That will be their day, special, just for them. Neither of us can imagine the choices they had to make, and we can never question those choices either. They did what they needed to do, for whatever their reasons were. All we can hope is that they know she was adopted. That a family came and took her home, will raise her with love and tenderness, give her a good life, a good education. And that we will always treasure her.