Monday, March 30, 2009


Tonggu Momma posts a linkage every Sunday on adoption and adoption related issues that's she's found (find this week's here). I rarely can read more than a handful, as there is a lot to absorb. And there are some weeks I can read only one as my mind just keeps mulling it over and over.

I struggle with being a white mama with a child who is not. I worry that I will screw up, not teach her something she needs to know. Stumble along when I should be clearly explaining. She's young yet, so I have a bit of time. But she's a smart little thing and all too soon those questions will come up. Reading and learning from others is going to be my only way to help our little gal. So, I read the hard posts. I struggle to really hear what they are saying. I try to stretch myself. However, no matter how you slice it. I am white. Plain and simple. I have never had ethnic jokes slung at me - well, okay, I have. But not like Emi will have. My maiden name is Polish, I grew up in a *VERY* Dutch area, lots of Polish jokes - but still nothing compared to what my little girl will have to learn to deal with. And really, should she have to DEAL with this? No, I don't think so. And hence my problem. How to teach her to say what she needs to say, when she needs to say it.

So I read things like this.

And this. Even though some of her writing is hard to read, I need to read it.

And blogs like this one. Because, mom's living life with their kids is how I need to know how to do it. And she tell's it like it is.


Lythrum said...

I am about as white as they come and my daughter takes more after my husband. Living in a military town, Amerasian kids are not uncommon, and I don't think her features are going to be really strong. So I'm hoping that she won't have a lot of problems. I think the only thing that you can do is to be as honest as possible with her and teach her that it is a reflection on those people and their stupidity/ignorance and not a reflection on her as a person.

The Straight's said...

Thanks for the info and the links!

a Tonggu Momma said...

You humble me, Kiy. Thank you. I think my cousins (adopted from South Korea, now adults) drilled it into me that I need to listen and learn from other adult adoptees and adoptive parents who've been around longer than me. Those were definitely some wise words!